PRINCIPLES OF CONFRONTATION

(Message by Tanny Keng)

0. Introduction

a) Sometimes rebuke is necessary, but it must be used with caution. The purpose of any rebuke, confrontation, or discipline is to help people, not hurt them.

1. Method

a) Be firm and bold (2 Corinthians 7:9; 10:2)

#1) 9 Now I rejoice, not that you were made sorry, but that your sorrow led to repentance. For you were made sorry in a godly manner, that you might suffer loss from us in nothing. (2 Corinthians 7:9 NKJV)

#2) 2 But I beg you that when I am present I may not be bold with that confidence by which I intend to be bold against some, who think of us as if we walked according to the flesh. (2 Corinthians 10:2 NKJV)

b) Affirm all you see that is good (2 Corinthians 7:4)

#1) 4 Great is my boldness of speech toward you, great is my boasting on your behalf. I am filled with comfort. I am exceedingly joyful in all our tribulation. (2 Corinthians 7:4 NKJV)

c) Be accurate and honest (2 Corinthians 7:14; 8:21)

#1) 14 For if in anything I have boasted to him about you, I am not ashamed. But as we spoke all things to you in truth, even so our boasting to Titus was found true. (2 Corinthians 7:14 NKJV)

#2) 21 providing honorable things, not only in the sight of the Lord, but also in the sight of men. (2 Corinthians 8:21 NKJV)

d) Know the facts (2 Corinthians 11:22-27)

#1) 22 Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Israelites? So am I. Are they the seed of Abraham? So am I. 23 Are they ministers of Christ?—I speak as a fool—I am more: in labors more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequently, in deaths often. 24 From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep; 26 in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; 27 in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness. (2 Corinthians 11:22-27 NKJV)

e) Follow up after the confrontation (2 Corinthians 7:13; 12:14)

#1) 13 Therefore we have been comforted in your comfort. And we rejoiced exceedingly more for the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all. (2 Corinthians 7:13 NKJV)

#2) 14 Now for the third time I am ready to come to you. And I will not be burdensome to you; for I do not seek yours, but you. For the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children. (2 Corinthians 12:14 NKJV)

f) Be gentle after being firm (2 Corinthians 7:15; 13:11-13)

#1) 15 And his affections are greater for you as he remembers the obedience of you all, how with fear and trembling you received him. (2 Corinthians 7:15 NKJV)

#2) 11 Finally, brethren, farewell. Become complete. Be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you. 12 Greet one another with a holy kiss. 13 All the saints greet you. (2 Corinthians 13:11-13 NKJV)

g) Speak words that reflect Christ's message, not your own ideas (2 Corinthians 10:3, 12-13; 12:19)

#1) 3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. (2 Corinthians 10:3 NKJV)

#2) 12 For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. 13 We, however, will not boast beyond measure, but within the limits of the sphere which God appointed us—a sphere which especially includes you. (2 Corinthians 10:12-13 NKJV)

#3) 19 Again, do you think that we excuse ourselves to you? We speak before God in Christ. But we do all things, beloved, for your edification. (2 Corinthians 12:19 NKJV)

h) Use discipline only when all else fails (2 Corinthians 13:2)

#1) 2 I have told you before, and foretell as if I were present the second time, and now being absent I write to those who have sinned before, and to all the rest, that if I come again I will not spare. (2 Corinthians 13:2 NKJV)


The End ...

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